Salinger got me started on this one...

I just finished a J.D. Salinger book, Raise High the Roof Beam Carpenters and Seymore An Introduction. It was great in a mad sort of way. The kind of book you read and then decide that perhaps your life calling sits in a bottle of whiskey, a poorly lit room and a typewriter. I appreciate the urgency, the chaos, the unfiltered exploratory nature of his writing - and most importantly I imagine little more than wild eyes as I read his words.

Wanting to see Salinger's wild eyes makes me realize I've been missing this same untamed passion in my current place in time...so...as always, let me rewind so I may go forward:

This summer I dreamed bigger than ever and paid the price for it - the price being the most comforting contentment I've ever experienced in my life. I started to believe in myself for the first time in ages. I believed in possibilities, abilities, and fronting little more than the basic facts of life... I accepted my place as a human (and animal) in the world. I felt direction and purpose. 

6 weeks ago I flew to Seattle and ran the Wonderland Trail around Mt Rainer. Claire, Joe and I set out with Keith, Simon and Nick to run 93 miles in 3 days. I'm selling the experience sort by summarizing it but maybe the fact is that life's great moments can't be tainted by words - the days on that trail were perfect.

After getting 4hrs of sleep the night before we started - eating a breakfast of nothing more than poptarts - and the proceeded to get rained on for 10hrs straight the first day. The rain and low light under the shelter of old growth redwood forests set the contrast of a million hues of green on fire. Add a sleepy fog and mild exhaustion to the mind bending colors and I guarantee you would have been running along wondering if it was all a dream as well.

Claire and I on one of many bridges.

The second day we saw our first glimpse of the mountain with meadows that were equally, if not more so, impressive. As the John Muir quote blazoned into the steps of Rainer's Paridise Visitor Center read: "...the most luxuriant and the most extravagantly beautiful of all the alpine gardens I even beheld in all my mountain-top wanderings." As Claire and I sat at the top of the pass on our final big climb of the day we spotted a far away meadow that quite frankly the most perfect meadow I've ever laid eyes on. We agreed not to take a picture of it for obvious reasons and next discovered a heard of mountain goats cresting a nearby ridge. I'll remember that panorama for quite sometime.

Joe riding imaginary horse down the trial.

The third day led to some of the most spectacular scenery of all as we climbed up to Summerland and  Pan Handle Gap. We took a group shot up there and all began the most delightful descent down, down, down to Box Canyon - Joe alternating between grape-vining down the trail and riding an imaginary horse. Just past Box Canyon with about 13miles to go we came across a mama black bear and her cubs, who had unbeknownst to us been sticking their dirty little paws in the honey pot. The bees were pissed and they promptly took it out on us - leaving everyone but Joe with stings that sent Claire and I literally sprinting down the remainder of the trail.

Pan Handle Gap: Me, Claire, Joe, Nick. Awesome.

Wonderland was indeed wonderful. The conversation was great and the support was incredible thanks to Joe and Nick's families - they made the experience outstanding in every way possible and with out their smiling faces and delicious food awaiting us each day, its likely Claire and I might have gnawed an arm off at some point. In short: the days were full and filling. I felt confident. I felt at ease. I felt IT. 

I went to Flagstaff a couple weeks later only to feel the inkling of a cold coming on as I drove to the airport. I fought it with everything I had and toed the line on Saturday for the Flagstaff Sky Race. I felt crappy from the gun but I stayed mentally strong. I pushed through the fatigue and congestion. I gave it my all until my body simply said stop. After a nap in an aspen grove I limped to the most convenient place to pull out. Greeted by the exceptionally friendly faces of people I had met only 48 and 24 hours before, I was happy to stop - Its not everyday you randomly meet wonderful people. 

Since Flagstaff I've been limping however; I haven't feel whole. I've been tired and unmotivated. Not unmotivated to be outside doing the things I love, but rather unmotivated to try and find my place in the conventional word.  I know its just the cycle of how life goes. While I'm favorable of the more manically happy stretches of life it is good to remember that sometimes down time, times of less enthusiasm per say, are important to patiently sit through, quietly...with a book...waiting for those wild eyes to return.

And because that seems like an entirely too contrived way to end a blog post I will instead quite with this random factoid of joy: I'm going to Moab on Friday. Running the Moab Trail Marathon and super psyched about it for lots of reasons. Happy. Yay.